Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Okay!

Phase 1 of our master plan is coming to fruition! Oh wait, you never got that secret memo! Shit, let me outline it for you!

Phase 1:
Democratically elect a competent president! Preferably someone who has a solid grasp of the constitution and the English language. This person should be capable of dealing with our enemies and our friends in a sensible diplomatic way. Also we should make sure that their vice president knows what the fuck is going on.

Phase 2:
Set for a platform that consists of the following policies...
  1. End our dependence on oil period. NOT just foreign oil, but oil period. Put the kind of money into this problem we've spent dicking around in Iraq!
  2. Take a genuine leadership role in planetary stewardship. Let's stop arguing about global warming and start doing something about it. (see bullet point #1)
  3. Immediately review all presidential orders and revoke the ones that are harmful to this country, the goals of the current administration, etc.
  4. Sort out our financial problems in a pragmatic way that does not include giving out money like candy to institutions that make poor financial decisions in the first place and are now paying the price. Any bills/measures that get passed MUST have provisions in them that exclude giving out compensation packages. The money must be used to fix financial problems, not make rich people richer at the taxpayers expense.
  5. Let's get out of Iraq ASAP. They don't want us there, we don't want to be there, it's costing us a shit load of money for no gains. I've got no problem providing the Iraqi army logistical support and flying manned and unmanned support missions. At worst I'd be okay with leaving a fabulously outfitted combat brigade to help the Iraqis for some fixed timetable and then they'd be out as well.
  6. Let's find Bin Laden and put his head on a fucking pole, period. While were at it, we'll actually talk to the Taliban and give them an ultimatum. Either come to the table, sign a treaty and become a functional part of the Afghan government or be destroyed. I figure after we achieve #4 we'll have plenty of troops we can rotate home, get some R&R and then finish the job.
  7. Have the president work with the congress and the attorney general to investigate the behavior of the prior administration and hold people accountable for their misconduct.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

8. Universal health care. All the cool countries are doing it. Whey should someone loose their life savings because they got sick? Let's take care of our people's bodies!

9. Completely overhaul the public school system. Being the number one country in ignorance is not an admirable goal. Let's take care of our people's minds!